“A good relationship is not static. True loving requires continual reassessment of our lives; change is its only constant. Ask each other often: ‘In what way is this relationship not yet all we want it to be? What is the next step in making it so?”
You may be thinking of embarking on therapy if you are experiencing issues with:
• Communication breakdown
• Feeling stuck
• Repeating patterns
• Undermining patterns of behaviour
• Body Image
• Life changes (separation, bereavement, redundancy, depression)
It can be challenging to talk together when things have been hidden or avoided. My role as the counsellor is to be impartial, supportive and to create a sense of safety, relief and support. This atmosphere of safety and trust can lead you both to deeper understanding and intimacy.
In my couples work, I believe it is essential to recognise what is working in the relationship. The love can be obscured when problems feel overwhelming. It is important to explore and acknowledge each individual’s strengths, resources and coping skills.
Sometimes, turning to therapy to end a relationship can be the most loving and healthy thing to do. There are times when a relationship has simply run its course. There can be a deep sense of liberation in recognising that it is time to end. If separation is decided upon, I support you to do so with respect for each other. This is especially pertinent if children are involved. There may also be valuable time spent in thinking through practicalities working through a separation with children to consider.
Whatever course the relationship takes, my focus is always to support and encourage a positive outcome for both people and to find a deeper love and understanding for themselves and each other. It is important that you both enter into the work with a genuine desire to face whatever may be standing in the way.